Florida woman arrested after naked ketchup table dance

She's been charged with "lewd and lascivious" conduct, which we can only hope is misspelled as "condiment" in at least one court docket.

Police have arrested a woman who they say lay naked on a table at a South Beach diner and poured ketchup on herself. Witnesses told Miami Beach police a topless Angelic Valle turned over tables and chairs at burger joint Johnny Rockets earlier this month, then removed the bottom of her bikini before climbing on the table and pouring the ketchup on herself. At one point she is also reported to have "placed a steel chair leg into her buttocks."

Onlookers said she began to perform a kind of dance while she still lay prone on the table. (They did not clarify how she managed to dance while "laying prone" because that does seem rather contradictory, but then, anything is possible in Florida.) One patron told police he grabbed a chair to make a barrier. Other male diners encircled her and waited for police.

Valle was gone when officers arrived — having told onlookers to "look me up on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook," per Miami news site Local10; she even returned to the scene, clothed, to pick up her bag and a towel before police had made it to the scene. Twenty-three-year-old Valle was later arrested Thursday on charges including incitement to riot and "lewd and lascivious" conduct; she did not respond to a telephone message left for her Friday.